The Break
by RaInBoWsKuLlDrOpS
Summary: Saying that Mal was struggling probably was an understatement; all she wants to do is be the best she can be for Ben. But when an opportunity for her to clear her head arises should she take it? NOT part of my 'Disney Descendants: Happily Ever After' series. Much love, RSD xoxoxoxoxoxoxo.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, this is the last new story that I am going to start for a while. I know that I had five stated on my main page but I have decided to not do one of them. The other one I can't actually post until I finish another story...it will all make sense later. I hope you like where I am going with this; much love RSD xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.**

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 _*Mal's POV*_

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I didn't know what to do; I loved Ben so much but I was struggling with everything. I didn't know how Ben juggled school and royal commitments; probably due to the fact that he had been trained for this for his whole life. I had tried to have this conversation with Ben but I kept chickening out. He kept telling me that he was so proud of me and I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was struggling.

Instead I had made a decision; I was going to an art retreat in North Riding for a week. I was going to use this time away to think about things. Yes people would probably still treat me as the Lady of the Court; but at least I wasn't going have all of my usual royal commitments to deal with.

I sighed to myself; I needed to speak to Ben about this. It wasn't fair on him for me to go away and have all this on my mind. I didn't want to hurt him; I loved him so much; I knew that I was probably making a mountain out of a molehill and this situation would probably get better if I spoke to him. I just couldn't get rid of the feeling of disappointing him; my mother said I wouldn't amount to anything more than a disappointment. It was breaking my heart to think that I was doing this to Ben.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and leant against my bedpost; I then crossed my left arm over my stomach as I rang Ben. I heard the phone start to dial out and I looked out of the window and pursed my lips together.

"Hey baby" he answered happily as I rested my head against my bed post.

"Hi" I answered.

"How's your day been?" he asked.

"Long" I muttered.

"Me too" he sighed.

"Are you looking forward to your art retreat?" he questioned.

"Yeah; it will be nice to get away" I smiled meekly.

"I'll miss you loads" he replied.

"I'll miss you too" I answered. This was the truth; I was going to miss Ben. I just didn't know how to feel about my situation with him; I didn't know if I could be the princess that he needs to have by his side.

"Mal" Ben said which broke me out of my train of thought.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Is everything ok? Something doesn't feel right" he noted and I had to supress the urge to sigh. I don't know how he did it; but Ben already knew me better than anyone else. Part of me loved him for it; but right now I was concerned as he probably knew that something was about to happen.

"Erm-" I started as I looked down at the floor.

"I need to talk to you" I advised nervously as I let my eyes slowly wander back up so I was looking back out of the window.

"Oh" I heard Ben mutter in shock.

"What about?" he asked and I could tell by the tone of his voice he was now worried.

"Erm-" I started again.

"I don't know whether this will be better face to face or over the phone" I said. This was the truth; I could see both pros and cons to both having this conversation over the phone and face to face with Ben. However I knew that Ben deserved more than a phone call; I needed to look him in the eyes when I asked for some space.

"Mal you are scaring me" he advised.

"I'm not meaning to" I explained as I started to feel my throat constrict.

"I just don't know what to do" I sniffed and I wiped my eyes on the back of my left hand.

"Mal I'm coming to see you; we need to talk about this face to face" Ben decided for the pair of us.

"I don't know what is going on but we will get through this" he promised.

"Yeah" I sniffed again.

"Please?" I asked as I wiped my nose on the back of my left hand.

"When will I see you?" I asked. I knew that it would be hard for the pair of us; but I knew that we would have to wait before we could have this conversation. Some meeting or council member would probably get in the way; all the while I would be in my dorm festering.

"I'll come now" he said bluntly.

"Are you sure you can?" I asked in shock.

"Mal you are more important; you know this" he stressed.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes" he advised.

"Ok" I muttered.

"See you soon" he answered and I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was eager to get to me.

"Love you Mal" he said.

"Love you too Ben" I smiled meekly and I quickly hung up as I felt my throat constrict suddenly once more. I then let my hand drop to the side and I started to stare out of the window. I was really starting to dread even starting this off; the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt Ben. But by the looks of it I was going to hurt him either way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, thank you for being patient with me on this story. As you can tell I have been working on my main stories; I can't wait to share this story with you as I don't think you are going to expect what is coming your way. Much love RSD xoxoxoxoxoxoxo.**

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The next fifteen minutes was hell! All the way through waiting for Ben I started to fill with dread and guilt. I really didn't want to hurt him; and I knew that the conversation that we were about to have was going to. But I had to do what was for the best for the both of us – mainly Ben.

When I heard Ben knock on my door; I couldn't help but sigh before I got up and quickly walked up to my dorm room door and opened it. When I looked up at Ben I could see a sea of concern in his eyes; I watched as he quickly looked me up and down. And I couldn't help but note something change in his eyes which made my stomach start to bubble as I saw the hurt already in his eyes.

"Hi" I muttered as I took a step to one side to let him into my dorm.

"Hi" he answered as he walked into my room.

"Mal I am starting to get worried" he noted.

"I know; I am too" I replied as I walked up to my bed and sat down as Ben closed my dorm room door behind him.

"Mal this doesn't look good" he stated as he walked up to me and sat down on my right-hand side.

"I know" I sighed as I looked down at the floor. Part of me was actually wondering whether I should even have brought this up; but I didn't know if I could sit and dwell on this any longer.

"Mal please tell me what is going on" he begged, and I took a deep breath to help steady myself. My dorm room fell into silence as I tried to pluck up the courage; I was actually starting to feel sick at the thought of suggesting this. So I thought that it was for the best that I just come out with it.

"I think we should go on a break" I said into the silence as I kept my eyes to the ground. I didn't have the heart to look at Ben when I said this; I knew it was going to hurt him enough as is it. I know it was selfish of me to not look at him as I told him this; but I couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes.

"What? "Why?" I heard him quickly ask.

"Have I done something?" he quickly added, and I looked up at him and my heart faltered when I saw the pain in his eyes.

"No" I answered sadly as I quickly shook my head as I looked away from him again.

"This is me not you" I urged. I needed Ben to understand that this was a problem that I had, and it was nothing that he had done. Yes I should have probably spoke to Ben about this as he could have helped me through it. However I think that I had gone past the point of no return; I needed space to think about our situation, so I could try and be the girl that Ben needed.

"What is wrong?" he asked as he slid his hands into both of mine and gave my hands a gentle squeeze.

"Mal please; let me try and fix this" he begged as his voice broke.

"I think we need space" I answered as I looked at him and pursed my lips together.

"What is going on Mal? Why do you feel like this?" he questioned.

"Things are getting too much Ben; they are getting too serious too quick. It is scaring me" I confessed and I watched as his eyes widened in shock at this.

"Well we can slow things down Mal; we don't need to go on a break" he pressed as he squeezed my hands again.

"We do" I dismissed.

"It feels like the right thing to do for us; I need time to think about things Ben" I explained hoping that he could see that even though I didn't want to be apart from him I needed time to think.

"And you are going to use your art retreat to do this?" he asked darkly.

"Yes; I think we need some time apart" I replied sadly. I was about to leave to go on a week-long art retreat in four days; if me and Ben hadn't gone on a break it was going to be hard enough to be away from him. However the closer that we got to my trip away I made the decision that it was probably for the best that I used the time away in North Riding to get my mind together.

"If you still want to be with me; we can talk about it when I get back" I offered as a lump started to tighten in my throat.

"If?" he asked as he dropped my hands.

"If I still want to be with you; why even ask that?" he fired at me.

"Well I am upsetting you and hurting you Ben; you might not want me back" I explained. Yes this thought scared me; and I knew that there was a chance that we wouldn't get back together after this. But this was a risk that I felt like I had to take to help save me and Ben in the long run - whether this was together or apart.

"Mal I want to be with you; I want to fight for you-" he started.

"For us; please let me?" he pleaded as he picked up both of my hands again.

"I will let you Ben; just please give me some space!" I cried as tears started to roll down my cheeks.

"Do you still love me?" he questioned and I could tell by the tone of his voice that he almost didn't want to know the answer.

"Of course Ben" I answered quickly.

"Of course I love you; this is why this is so hard Ben. I only want to be right for you" I stressed hoping that I could get Ben to see why that we needed to do this.

"You are Mal; you are everything I want and need" he said sadly as his eyes started to water.

"It doesn't feel like it-" I dismissed.

"I am struggling with everything; I need time to re-evaluate everything Ben. Please give me it?" I asked.

"I feel like I have lost you" he noted as he reached up with his right hand and wiped his eyes.

"I would like to think that you haven't; because I don't want to lose you either. I just think it is for the best that we have a break" I answered.

"Ok" he nodded.

"Are we going to tell everyone?" he asked as he looked down to the floor.

"Erm-" I started. It was bad enough that me and Ben were having this conversation; I didn't know whether it was a good idea if the world knew - as we would be watched even more closely.

"No I don't think we need to do that; unless you want to" I offered as I sniffed and used my left hand to wipe my nose and eyes.

"And tell everyone that we are having problems?" he snapped.

"I don't think so" he quickly sighed.

"Is it weird to ask for a hug?" Ben asked hopefully.

"No" I smiled meekly. If I was being honest a hug from Ben was what I needed right now. Yes I felt guilty for needing this right now but there was no way I was going to not hug Ben right now - he needed me to hold him close in this bad situation.

"I do love you Ben; this is why I am doing this" I urged over his shoulder.

"I know baby" he answered as he tightened his arms around me preventing me to shorten our hug.

"I just wish we didn't have to" he said sadly which made me look up at him.

"I know Ben" I said sadly before I pulled Ben back into a hug hoping that me and Ben could get through this without me hurting him anymore that I had already done.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, I know that this story is hard to read but I can't wait to share this story with you. Much love RSD xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.**

 **P.S. I just thought I best point out in this story in case you don't read my others I am going to only put introductions in chapters from now on if they need them.**

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After pulling out of our very awkward hug Ben quickly excused himself and left my dorm room; however before he did this he gave me one last look and it shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. I could tell that there was part of him that was hoping that I was about to ask him to come back to me; so we could try and get through this. Part of me wanted this too; but I couldn't bring myself to do this. I needed space to try and think about everything; I just hoped that Ben could understand why that I needed this.

Thankfully I was able to fight back the tears until Ben closed the door after him and then a painful sob erupted from my lips. I slid back onto my bed and curled into ball and let myself start to cry; yes Ben meant the world to me but I had to make sure that I could be the girl that he needed. Surely if I was meant to be then the life that Ben has should come easy to me? But no, I was struggling to the point where it felt like I was drowning; and nothing I was saying or doing was making it any better.

I knew that I had just put mine and Ben's relationship at risk; and there was a very long line of girls ready and waiting to take my place. I just hoped that the time away from my situation with Ben would help; I knew that Ben would want to talk to me when I came back and I would do this. If Ben then however decided that I wasn't the girl for him then I would have to respect this; he also had the right to evaluate our relationship as well. Yes he loved me and wanted to be with me right now; but with the room to think without me being there he could decide that he needed a princess – and not a girl from the Isle.

As my lungs started to painfully ache with crying I heard my dorm room door open and I couldn't help but sigh. I had just had this conversation with Ben; and I wasn't about to have this conversation with Evie – fingers crossed she would allow me to just wallow in the mess that I had just caused.


	4. Chapter 4

"Mal what's wrong?" Evie quickly said as she ran up to my bed.

"Nothing" I muttered as I stared into space in front of me. It was taking everything in my power to not let the impending sob that was wanted to break free; I didn't even know how my body had more tears to cry but I knew that I probably was going to be like this for a very long time. I was starting to regret opening this can of worms; but then I knew that I had to do this. I needed to take the time to see if I could be better for Ben; I wanted to be the girl that he needed by his side. I loved him so much; and I hated myself for hurting him the way that I have.

"Mal don't give me that" she dismissed. "You don't cry unless there is something wrong" she added after a few moments of us sitting in silence. I knew that I was probably worrying her but I needed to try and digest what I had just done.

"Yeah" I said still not looking up at her.

"Mal please let me in?" she begged.

"E leave it please" I whined as I slowly sat up. "It is hard enough as it is without you getting on at me as well" I sighed.

"What is?" she questioned as she slid closer to me. "M you know I am not going to tell anyone" she promised. "Has something happened with Ben?" she questioned and I decided to stay quiet. Apart from it really hurting to relive what had just happened with Ben I didn't know how Evie was about to react. She always told me how much of a perfect couple she thought me and Ben was; and I had even kept me struggling from her as well. Yes I have probably caused this problem; but I was so used to dealing with things myself having help from others still felt weird to me. "Mal please talk to me?" she pleaded.

"I said I wouldn't tell anyone" I advised slowly as I looked up at her and pursed my lips.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because it is private" I answered.

"I see" she nodded. "But Mal you know I am here for you" she stressed.

"I know" I nodded as I looked away from her once more. "I will talk when I am ready E, I promise" I added meekly.

"Ok" I heard her say. "Well you know where I am" she continued.

"Of course" I said. My mind started to wander onto Ben and I started to mentally kick myself; I didn't know whether he had gone home or to his dorm room but one thing that I did know was that his heart was probably breaking. "I'm going to have a long shower" I advised and I quickly got up from my bed before Evie could question me any further; as I walked up to our bathroom I picked up my bed clothes.

"Ok" I heard her say and I smiled at her meekly before I walked into our bathroom and closed and locked the door.

I then slowly undressed myself before I tied my hair into a high bun; I then looked at myself in the mirror and I couldn't help but shake my head at myself. I hoped that I was doing the right thing; only time would tell I guess I told myself.

I then turned around and turned the shower on before I walked into water. My skin tingled at the sudden coldness of the water but I sighed when the water started to heat up against my skin.

I felt my chest started to tighten as I started to remember the pained look on Ben's face as he left; I couldn't believe that I could hurt him so easily. I kept telling myself that I was doing this to help Ben but I had to hurt him in order to do this. Maybe he needed to realise that I wasn't the girl for him; and as my mind started to spitefully agree with itself I slowly dropped to my knees. I felt cold tears start to run down my cheeks and I slid down so I was now sitting with my knees against my chest and stomach. I then wrapped my arms around my knees and pulled myself closer. I then got lost in the rhythm of crying as the water cascaded over me and as I fell further and further into my despair I couldn't take my mind of Ben - my current broken hearted Beast.


	5. Chapter 5

The next few days were very awkward; I knew that everyone was picking up on a very strange vibe between me and Ben but we both kept dismissing it. Yes we had classes together; and what made it harder is that we sat together. All the way through class we kept our eyes away from each other; and when we only spoke to each other when we had to. There was even a thought that kept pinching at me which kept asking me how we could get back from this. But this was a risk that I felt necessary; and there had even been a couple of times where I wanted to go and see Ben to tell him that I changed my mind. But I stopped myself; it wasn't fair on him to ask of that - not until I had made my mind.

When we weren't in class we kept our distance from each other; and it was obvious that we were missing each other as Evie kept pointing this out to me. Yes she still didn't know what was going on with me and Ben; and she kept trying to find out. But she knew that something big must have happened at the fact that me and Ben weren't spending time together. We weren't kissing, hugging or holding hands - and this must have looked bad to not just her but everyone else.

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It was now the morning of me leaving for my art retreat and I was just packing the last of my things together. My mind went onto Ben; and I pushed this away I needed to use this time to think of a way on how I could be better for him.

"Mal" I heard Evie say as I closed my suitcase and locked it.

"Aha?" I replied as I looked up at her.

"I know you still tell me that you will tell me when you are ready-" she started.

"Yes E?" I prompted.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? You are just about to go away for the week" she stated and I could hear concern in the tone of her voice.

"No E; I don't want to talk about it" I replied. I was a bundle of nerves as it was and I didn't think me talking about mine and Ben's situation was going to be the best thing before I let.

"Mal" she wined.

"No Evie" I pressed. "I want this to be private; between me and Ben" I said hoping that this would deter her from asking too many questions. "I know that hurts you and I know you want to help me" I added.

"Well let me be there for you" she begged as she stepped up to me and took both of my hands in hers. When I looked into her eyes I decided that I needed to let her in; yes I felt very decisive right now but maybe she could give me some reassurance before I left.

"If I tell you please don't tell anyone?" I begged.

"I promise" she said as she gave both of my hands a gentle squeeze.

"Me and Ben are on a break" I admitted as I felt my chest and stomach burn in panic.

"What?" she asked in shock. "Why? Why did he do that for?" she quickly asked before I could answer her.

"E stop!" I exclaimed. "It was me that put us on a break; not him" I added defending Ben.

"Why Mal?" she said sadly. "I thought you loved him and things were going ok?" she asked and I watched as her face dropped into panic.

"I do" I urged. "They are" I added. "But I-" I started.

"You?" she prompted as I looked away from her.

"I just feel like I am struggling to be who he needs me to be and I don't know if I can" I explained as I looked back at her and pursed my lips together. "So I asked for us to go on a break while I am away; so I can think about things" I elaborated.

"Mal you are everything that Ben needs; you can see that the pair of you are meant for each other" she pressed.

"Yeah" I nodded. "Well looks can be deceiving" I sighed.

"So this is why you and Ben are acting the way you are" she noted.

"Yes" I said and I started to remind myself of mine and Ben's dismissive behaviour over the last few days. "It is hard because we want to be together; but I don't want to hurt him in the long run" I muttered as I looked away from her.

"How could you hurt him?" she asked.

"By not being who he needs; Ben is the king of Auradon-" I started.

"Please tell me you are not about to give me the whole 'he needs a princess thing" she said slowly and I looked back at her. "Mal we have been through this multiple times" she reminded me.

"I know we have" I said. "And I can't help how I feel" I added. "I love Ben soo much and it kills me to think and act like this. I want to be with him; but I need space to think" I shrugged as I dropped her hands.

"I see" she noted. "What is going to happen when you come back?" she questioned.

"Me and Ben are going to talk" I said as I looked down. I didn't want to think about what was going to happen when I came back. I didn't know what was going to happen when I came back; and if I was being honest it frightened me. "Then we will take it from there" I said. "I better go Evie" I quickly added as I turned around and threw my backpack onto my back. "I'll text you and ring you when I can" I advised as I pulled my suitcase onto the floor and pulled the handle up.

"I'll look forward to it" she smiled and me and Evie quickly pulled me into a hug. "Please think this clearly through" she urged as she pulled away and held me at arm's length.

"I will E" I promised as I smiled meekly at her. "This is why I have done this" I said as I stepped out of her arms and slid my hand onto my suitcase handle. "See you in a week" I smiled.

"See you in a week" she repeated and I quickly walked to the door and left the room; before she could question me about my current situation with Ben any further.


	6. Chapter 6

_*Ben's POV*_

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I was currently making my way quickly to Mal's dorm; I know that Mal is closing to leaving and I wanted to say goodbye. I know that things are very awkward between us at the moment; and I didn't even know if she wanted me there. But for my own piece of mind I had to go and see her; this whole situation was breaking me. Mal was my soul mate; and she was everything that I wanted and needed. But I knew that I had to give her this week away to think about how things were between us.

As I knocked on her dorm room door I started to hope that she wasn't going to be mad at me for coming to see her now. And my face dropped when I saw Evie answer the door and not Mal.

"Hi" she smiled. "I'm guessing you are here to see Mal" she quickly added.

"Yeah, can I come in?" I questioned hoping that I wasn't pushing Mal too far by coming to see her.

"Yeah" she advised as she stepped to one side. When I looked around the room and I started to get confused at the fact that Mal's side of the room was tidy and Mal was nowhere to be seen. "However she has just gone" Evie advised making me look at her.

"Oh" I muttered. "I'm too late" I added as my face dropped once more.

"Yeah" she repeated. "Ben-" she started. "You can tell me to mind my own business-" she continued which made me pull one brow up in confusion at her.

"Right?" I prompted.

"But what is going on between you and Mal?" she quickly questioned.

"Oh that" I muttered as I pursed my lips together. "I would prefer not to talk about that" I advised sheepishly. I didn't know how much Mal had told Evie; but given the fact that she was openly questioning me like this was telling me that Mal hadn't told her very much. And I didn't want to make it any worse for myself with Mal by telling Evie everything; if Mal didn't want her to know. This was another thought that scared me; Mal and Evie told each other everything so if Mal wouldn't even talk to Evie about this then was there something else going on?

"I wish one of you would" she sighed.

"Mal hasn't either?" I questioned.

"Well she's told me to a certain degree" she stated.

"I see" I nodded. "So what has she told you?" I questioned.

"That you are on a break" she admitted and I felt my stomach prick with hurt. I hated the fact that Mal felt like we needed to go on a break. I just hoped by the time she came back she would let me show her that she was everything that I needed. I knew she didn't feel like she was enough; but this was a ridiculous thought. She was! She wasn't like any other girl I had ever known and I loved her endlessly. Hopefully I could convince her of this. "But I had to drag it out of her; she wasn't happy about it" she said.

"No" I answered. "I can imagine she wasn't" I added as I imagined Mal's reaction to Evie trying to get this information out of her.

"How are you taking it?" she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. I smiled meekly at her; I knew she wasn't doing this to pry. Me and Evie had become good friends since she came to Auradon and I knew that she only wanted the best for me and Mal.

"I don't want to be on a break Evie; I love Mal so much. I can't bear the thought of losing her" I admitted.

"Hey it won't come to that" she quickly dismissed.

"How do you know that?" I asked. The truth of the matter is that no one didn't know what Mal was going to do when she came back. I wanted her to come back right now so we could try and get through this; but there was part of me that didn't want her to come back if I was going to lose her completely. "By the time Mal comes back we will have been on a break for two weeks; that is enough time for Mal to decide that she can't be with me" I added sadly as I started to fidget with the rings on my right hand. "If you would excuse me Evie; I think I better go-" I started. It was getting too much me being in Mal's dorm. It didn't feel right at the fact that she wasn't here; even more so given that we were on a break. "It doesn't feel right being in here; especially as Mal isn't here" I added.

"Ok" she nodded solemnly. "Well if you need to talk-" she started.

"I know where you are" I finished for her. "Thanks Evie" I finished. "I'm glad Mal has you" I added and I quickly turned and left the room - still feeling very unsettled about being on a break with Mal.


	7. Chapter 7

_*Mal's POV*_

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The journey to North Riding was a long one; but this wasn't due to the distance travelled. It was due to the fact that as soon as I sat in my couch seat I put my iPhone earphones in and stared out the windows and began to think about being on a break. I hated how this made me feel; and I started to think about whether I could be the girl that needs to be by Ben's side. I felt strong enough to be able to do this and I thought I had been; but what was shocking me is that I wasn't coping as well as I thought. I just hoped that as this week went on I was able to see a way to be able to get through this so I can be the best I can be for Ben.

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"Here we are" Mrs Paul said as we all walked into the large wooden cabin that had been booked for our large group of art students.

"It's beautiful" I said as I looked around the large communal living area. At the end of the room there was the large communal kitchen and in the middle of the room there was a large oak staircase that lead to the next floor of bathrooms. On our right there was a long corridor which was littered with doors which I knew were bedrooms and at the end of that long corridor was one of our communal bathrooms.

"Right let's assign rooms" Mrs Paul declared. "I will be in this one with Mrs Roche" she advised as she nodded to the room closest to us. "Also Mr Farrow and Mr Palmer will be upstairs with the boys" she stated.

"Ok" we all chorused.

"Lady Mal you are in this room with Emma" she directed as she pointed to the next bedroom.

"Ok" me and Emma nodded as we both walked up to our bedroom door and opened it. Our room was very spacious with two queen sized beds in it; there was a chest of drawers at the foot of both of our beds and on the wooden walls adjacent to our beds there was a large plasma TV mounted to the wall. Next to the bed furthest away from us there was a large window which had dark brown curtains. On the wall next to the door there were two large oak wardrobes and there was a dark brown lamp shade hanging from the ceiling.

"Which bed would you like?" Emma asked after I closed the door behind us both.

"I'm not bothered" I shrugged.

"Ok" she replied. "I'll have this one" she advised as she pushed her suitcase to the furthest bed away.

"Ok" I smiled meekly as I put my back pack on the other bed.

"Are you excited?" she asked happily.

"Yeah" I muttered.

"Tell your face that" she teased.

"Sorry" I muttered as I pursed my lips together. "I just have a lot on my mind that's all" I advised.

"Oh" she muttered. "Is something wrong?" she questioned slowly. "Everyone could see there was something wrong with you and his Majesty" she noted.

"No; when I left everything was fine" I dismissed. Emma was friendly enough; and we had been friends in our art class since I had arrived in Auradon. However I knew if I told her anything she would go around telling everyone; and this was something that I felt like I could deal with. I needed to use this time to figure things out; not deal with people spreading mine and Ben's problems. "Just some personal matters that's all" I advised.

"I see" she noted. "Well you know where I am" she pressed.

"Yeah I do" I smiled warmly.

"I'm just going to see the others" she advised.

"Ok" I nodded and I knew for a fine fact that she was probably going to tell the others about my dismissive behaviour - but I was passed caring at this point. "I'm just going to unpack" I said as I nodded down at my bags.

"Ok" she said and she quickly left the room - leaving me with my thoughts on how I can try and cope with Ben's lifestyle so I could stand proudly by his side.


	8. Chapter 8

After we had unpacked and got everything settled into our room we then all went to the kitchen and was given a pre made packed lunch. I then went and sat with some of my friends and I forced myself to be involved in the conversation like I normally was. I didn't want them questioning me all week about what was wrong with me; yes I needed to think about things. But I guessed that I was going to have to time my thinking strategically so I wasn't questioned all the time. Hopefully I was going to be able to do this.

* * *

After we had lunch we were then told by our teachers that we were going to go for a hike around North Riding Lake and we were expected to take photos for our portfolios.

When we got to North Riding Lake I couldn't help but smile at the view. The Lake it's self was clear water; and you could see the schools of brightly coloured fished swimming under the water. In the distance you could see the surrounding mountains that lead up to the Great of Wall of China and you could see the wall very faintly in the distance. The air smelt so fresh and even though it was sunny there was still a cold chill in the air. To add to the perfect scene before me I could see ripples in the water when the cool breeze caught the water.

So to give myself a little bit of space between myself and the others I started to walk slowly behind the others as I took photos of the lake. One thing I loved about art and photography was that I could easily get lost in it and it distracted me for a short time.

"Mal" I heard a voice say.

"Hey Jacob" I answered as I pulled my camera away from my face and looked at him and noted that he was walking in my direction.

"How's tricks?" he teased as he stood next to me. I noticed that his dark brown hair was messy at the moment due to the fact he had just pulled his dark green beanie hat from his head. His dark brown and muddy brown eyes lit up as he playfully shoved me and he was currently giving me a large toothy grin.

"Fine" I said as I pursed my lips together. "What about you?" I asked pushing the conversation onto him and off me.

"I'm really excited about this trip; yes we are working but we still have free time" he answered excitedly.

"Yeah" I replied. "I have been looking forward to this" I said happily. This wasn't a lie; I had been looking forward to this. It would just so happen that I would chose to give me some space from my royal life with Ben. I was missing him quite a lot; as I would have text him and rang him by now - but I didn't know if he even wanted me to do at the moments.

"Let me guess-" Jacob started which broke me out of my day dream. "To get away from his Majesty" he winked at me.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I questioned as I pulled one brow up in confusion.

"Well you probably want to hang around with normal people" he stated as he quickly took a photo of the lake.

"Ben is a normal person" I answered; yes we might be on a break but I wasn't going to allow Jacob to pick him apart.

"I know that" he answered as he pulled the camera away from his face. "But you know what I mean" he added. "All the pressures of being with a royal; sometimes I bet you wish that you were dating some one without all that" he finished.

"No" I stated. Yes this was one of the reasons why me and Ben were on a break; but there was no way that I was going to let Jacob know that. "I can't say that thought has ever crossed my mind" I added. "Ben is an amazing boyfriend" I smiled as my mind went on to him. Yes he was an amazing boyfriend; it was my skills as a girlfriend that I was currently questioning.

"Well he is a lucky guy" Jacob said fondly.

"Is he?" I absentmindedly asked as I took another photo.

"Yeah" he confirmed. "You are amazing" he smiled as I pulled the camera away from my face.

"Erm thanks Jacob" I said nervously as I didn't really know how to answer that. "I think we better get on" I said hoping to change the conversation.

"Yeah" he repeated. "We don't want people talking" he flirted. "Or do we?" he teased as he playfully shoved me.

"I don't think so" I sighed.

"Oh come on Mal; live a little" he answered as he rolled his eyes at me. "I'm only fooling around" he added. "I doubt I could ever turn your head from our King" he continued.

"Probably not no Jacob" I agreed. If things were going to take a turn for the worst with me and Ben when I got back home I didn't think I could ever love anyone the way that I love Ben. If this was the case; then why was I struggling so much?

"Oh well" he shrugged. "Better luck next time I guess" he flirted as I went to take another photo.

"Maybe" I muttered as I quickly took three photos in quick concession. When I pulled the camera away from my face and looked at Jacob I noticed that something had changed in his eyes.

"This week is going to be so much fun" he grinned.

"Yes it is Jacob" I confirmed. Jacob was well known for being a flirt and I know how our conversation just sounded; but believe me I didn't mean it. And I would make sure that Jacob knew this. "I can't wait to do some painting; need to clear my head a little bit" I stated hoping that he would get a hint.

"And to spend time with others as well though, right?" he pressed.

"Oh course" I answered. I watched as a large smile spread across his face; in the distance I noted that Emma was looking at the pair of us. I knew that Emma had liked Jacob for quite a while and wanted to date him; so I really hoped that nothing was starting on my art retreat - as I had enough on my plate already.


	9. Chapter 9

After our hike we then made our way back to our shared lodge; it was advised by our teachers that there they were going to cook us a BBQ. I looked forward to this; however my conversation with Jacob as still echoing in my mind.

"Mal-" I heard Jacob say as he sat down next to me.

"Yes?" I smiled meekly as I looked up at him.

"Are you ok?" he questioned. "You seem a little bit quiet" he noted.

"Yeah" I agreed. "I just have a lot on my mind that's all" I advised.

"Anything you want to talk about?" he pressed.

"Nah!" I smiled meekly once more. "Thanks though" I offered. If I was going to discuss this with anyone I was going to discuss this with Evie or Ben; I wouldn't disrespect Ben or our relationship that way.

"You sure?" he offered once more.

"Positive" I answered. "Wouldn't want to bore you" I stated as I picked my drink of orange juice and I began to drink it.

"You wouldn't" he smiled happily.

"Still-" I started. "This is something that I want to keep to myself" I advised.

"I see" he noted. "Well you know where I am" he offered kindly.

"Always Jacob" I smiled as I started to note that Jacob is being more overly friendly than usual. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as Emma threw us both a look and I looked away from her. I didn't want her to think that anything was happening between me and Jacob. If things weren't meant to work between me and Ben; I still wouldn't go anywhere near Jacob - I could be certain of that. "So how are things with you?" I stated hoping to move the conversation off what was bothering me.

"Fine" he said. "Just enjoying the single life" he teased.

"I see" I noted as I looked down. "I didn't know you were single" I advised.

"Yeah" he answered as I looked up at him. "Jessica cheated on me" he explained solemnly.

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "Sorry dude" I offered my sympathies. "I didn't know" I advised.

"It's cool" he shrugged. "It is what it is" he dismissed.

"You were with her a while though" I remembered.

"Yeah; just under a year" he said.

"Wow!" I exclaimed again.

"How long have you been with his Majesty?" he enquired.

"Two years" I answered.

"Wow!" he exclaimed back at me.

"Yeah" I nodded meekly. "He means a lot to me" I said absentmindedly as my mind started to torture itself at the sight of how this situation was affecting Ben.

"I can tell" he advised which broke my train of thought. "Like I said before he is a very lucky guy" he smiled fondly.

"I like to think I'm the lucky one" I returned. "I really don't deserve him" I muttered as I stared back out of the window as I began to fixate one more on my situation with Ben.

* * *

We then were given free time for the rest of the evening which was something I was looking forward to. It was decided that we were going to watch a film together as a big group; but as the film started to play I knew that I wasn't going to be paying attention to what we were watching. My mind was still clouded by what I was currently doing to Ben; all the way through the film I noticed that Jacob kept throwing looks in my direction - I knew that he probably wanted to spend a lot of time with me during our trip. I just hoped that it wouldn't distract me from one of my main reasons for coming on this trip.


	10. Chapter 10

_*The next day*_

* * *

At breakfast Jacob decided again to come and sit next to me; in all honesty I didn't mind his company. We had a lot in common and loved to tease each other; but we were only friends. However since coming to Auradon I had come to know how things could seem to the outside world - and I wasn't about to let the world start thinking that there was something going on.

The last thing I needed was for this to get back to Ben; I didn't want him to think that the reason for our break was so I could be a free agent to do as I please on our trip. I wasn't like that; and Ben deserved so much better than that. However this was the premise why I had put us on a break – I didn't feel enough for Ben. I loved him and yes this should be enough; but how could I physically be enough when I struggled so much with his lifestyle. I hoped that by the end of this week I would be able to see how.

* * *

We then went for another hike; but this time we went to the mountain side above North Riding Lake and the view was beautiful. The view was very exquisite and you could see the Summerlands, the Great Wall of China and Auradon City in the distance depending on the direction you looked.

We were instructed to set up our stands and paint or sketch what we saw in front of us. So I decided that I was going to torture myself even further by painting the view of Auradon City with the castle in the distance. Yes when I painted or sketched my mind went clear; however I wanted to make sure that I held Ben in my mind at all times – and what way to do that was to paint where he was.

Jacob set himself a short distance away from me; however the brilliant thing about artists is that when we work we work in near enough silence. So thankfully I was able to be alone with my thoughts as I painted and thought about how I could get through my current situation.

The only time that there was a large amount of noise is when the teachers stopped us all and gave us all a break for lunch. They gave us all a packed lunch that they had prepared and we all broke off into our own little groups before returning back to our own private seclusions in our painting or sketches.

* * *

After packing everything away around half four we then ventured the half an hour hike back to our shared lodge. However Jacob this time kept his distance so I was able to walk down on my own with the others close by; I could hear Emma flirting with Jacob and he was only responding to it meekly as he threw looks in my direction. I knew how this was probably going to look to Emma; but Jacob was never going to mean anything to me more than just a friend.


	11. Chapter 11

Before I knew it it was night time and we were taking our seats for the sit down meal. If I was being honest with myself I was starting to get a little bit of a headache; so I couldn't wait to retire for an early night. Yes the silence was going to give me the opportunity to torture myself; but I wasn't really in the mood for staying up most of the night - like most of my class.

"It ok if I sit here?" I heard a voice say and when I looked up I watched as Jacob grinned at me as he nodded down to the chair on my right hand side.

"Sure; do what you want" I advised.

"You know how to hurt a guy's feelings" he teased as he pulled the chair out and dropped into it.

"How?" I questioned as I pulled a look of confusion at him.

"You could have sounded a lot better to have my majestic company" he joked with a large toothy grin.

"Sorry" I laughed. "Yes Jacob I would love to have your majestic company" I said mock seriously which made him laugh at me.

"Thank you" he said happily. "So how are you finding your trip?" he asked as he placed his drink down in front of him.

"Fine" I advised.

"Just fine?" he enquired.

"Well you know me Jacob-" I started. "I like to take the time to soak it all in; take in all the details" I added.

"Yes" he agreed. "You beat me last time" he reminded.

"Still bitter about that?" I teased with a sly grin. The last art competition that we both had competed in I had beat Jacob in it; however even I could tell that it was close in judging - so he just missed out by a small margin.

"Maybe" he stated. "But I'll get you next time Mal" he added as he playfully shoved me.

"We'll see" I winked.

"Oh!" he said in aghast. "That is fighting talk" he joked.

"Yes" I confirmed. "And we are both very competitive" I reminded him.

"Yes" he agreed. "And I will beat you next time" he warned again.

"Fine" I shrugged. "You can try" I teased as I playfully shoved him back.

"You are so feisty" he noted.

"You have told me that before" I stated. "And like I told you before Jacob-" I started. "That's how our King likes his women" I finished hoping that the reminder of Ben would keep Jacob at bay.

"Yes" he repeated. "Yes you did" he nodded meekly. "How about we sit together on our next painting or sketching circle?" he offered.

"Yeah of course" I replied; I saw no problem with this. As far as I was concerned it was only friendly rivalry between us - and this is how it was going to stay.

* * *

After our meal the teachers started taking group photos and I fell into shock as I felt Jacob wraps his arm around my waist. This didn't feel right; and it left me very unsettled. I could tell that there was nothing in it on both mine and Jacob's side. But this didn't mean that I had to like how it made me feel; it made me feel like I was being unfaithful to Ben having another man's arm around me - even for a second.

So with this thought in my mind I excused myself; as my friends tried to get me to stay up I advised them that I had a headache. They all nodded at this but Jacob tried to get me to stay one more time before I dismissed him and walked into my room - before he could say or do anything else to try and persuade me.


	12. Chapter 12

_*Mal's POV*_

* * *

As I started to look at the dark ceiling above me as I could hear the rest of my classmates milling around as they chatted together. But this wasn't going to stop me for using this time before I fell asleep to think about how I could be better for Ben.

I know that I should probably be more open with Ben; I had promised to try after Cotillion. I just had this fear; there was only so many times that I could tell him that I was struggling with his royal lifestyle. I was scared that even though I was his true love that it would disappoint him and he might think that I couldn't be by his side. I know that this was a stupid thought; but my mother has always told me that I was going to disappoint everyone in my life - and it would kill me if this ever happened.

I had started to have nightmares about this; and it shocked me to my core. They felt so vivid and real; and it was like life was taunting me and showing me that no matter how much I loved Ben I was never going to be enough.

My mind then spitefully then showed me what I heard in the past when me and Ben had first started our relationship. I was reminded that we weren't compatible and that it would only be a matter of time before Ben realised that I was nothing more than street trash. Just like Jane spitefully told me before we were friends _"He's never going to make a villain a Queen"_ \- yes being Ben's true love reassured me. But I still couldn't stop letting these vicious thoughts continue to torture me up until my eyes rolled into sleep.

* * *

 _*Meanwhile*_

 _*Ben's POV*_

* * *

I was currently sitting in my dorm in the darkness staring at a photo on my phone of me and Mal. It still perplexes me that Mal could put us on a break like this; yes I knew that she had her reasons - I just wished she would tell me them so we could try and get through this together.

I hated to be away from Mal like this; but it felt even harder due to the fact that we weren't talking. The last we spoke to each other it was awkward and in front of others; and my heart continued to break at our last real conversation - Mal putting us on a break.

I hated the façade that we had to put on leading up to Mal going away; but even I could see that people didn't believe it fully. I just hoped that upon her return I would be given the chance to fight for us - as losing Mal was never going to be an option in my eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

_*The next day*_

 _*Mal's POV*_

* * *

After breakfast we all then went to our rooms to go and pack our bags for our next hike which was going to look at the waterfall next to the Summerlands Lake.

"Mal can I have a word?" I heard Emma say as she closed the door behind us both.

"Of course" I said as I looked up at her and I noticed concern spread across her face. "What's up?" I pressed.

"What is going on with you and Jacob?" she quickly asked.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"You seem close" she noted. "You are flirting with each other" she accused as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Hey!" I exclaimed as I put both of my hands up in the air to defend me. "I am not flirting with him!" I urged. I really didn't want this to be a rumour that was spreading around on our trip and continued to spread around school when we returned. "He might be flirting with me but it is all on his side" I stated. "I am with Ben" I reminded her as I started to mentally kick myself at saying this. "I don't want Jacob; or anyone else for that matter. We are just friends" I pressed. "Anyway-" I started as I continued to pack my things together. "I know you are after him" I smiled meekly as I looked up at her.

"Yeah but he's with Jessica" she sighed.

"No" I muttered and I watched as her eyes widened in shock. "What? Don't you know?" I pressed.

"What?" she asked eagerly.

"He told me last night that they broke up a while ago; apparently she cheated on him" I advised hoping that I hadn't just betrayed Jacob's trust. Surely people already knew about this? "What?" she repeated in shock.

"Yes" I confirmed.

"Well this changes things" she noted. "I need to touch up my make up" she advised which caused me to laugh. "What?" she questioned.

"You remind me of Evie" I advised.

"I see" she nodded.

"Well I will take that as a complement; Evie is amazing" she smiled warmly.

"She is" I advised as I also smiled at the thought of my sister. "She's very much a sister to me" I said.

"But you're not blood related?" she asked slowly.

"No" I confirmed. "But we are that tight that we class each other as family" I explained with a smile.

"I like how close you are" she answered.

"Yes" I said. "I don't know how I would have coped without E, Jay or Carlos if I came here on my own. Apart from Ben they are the first people I really trusted" I answered and I smiled meekly when I began to think of Ben.

"I get that" she said as I pushed away my turmoil for a few seconds.

"Well let's get going-" I started. "Before someone comes looking for us" I advised.

"Yep" she said and we both quickly finished packing our bags. We then left the room; both eager to see where today was going to take us. And thankfully for me it was now going to be rumour free.


	14. Chapter 14

The hike only took around an hour to do and before I knew it was were being split into groups of three. And luck would have it that I was split into a group with Emma and Jacob; which both of them looked very happy at - but different reasons.

As we continued to draw the view of the waterfall I had to endure Emma attempting to flirt with Jacob; and I smiled as I looked away from them. But after a while he kept turning his attention back to me. However when he did this I would just remind him of Ben which thankfully would keep him at bay; and his attentions back towards Emma.

* * *

After only having an hour to draw brief sketches and notes where we could complete them at a later date. We then took another hike back to our joined lodge where we shared a light lunch. Thankfully I was able to quickly retire to mine and Emma's room so I could have some peace and quiet.

* * *

After I had eaten my light lunch I then changed into my dark purple bathing suit and pulled a long and baggy dark purple t-shirt over it. When we were drawing and sketching we all decided that we were going to use our free time this afternoon to swim in the very large swimming pool at the lodge.

When I joined the others I decided to tell the others that I wasn't feeling well; so with this being said I was able to go and sit and sketch on the sun loungers on the patio.

I decided to use this time to do a sketch of Ben; and I started to think about things once more. I missed Ben terribly; and I had wished that I hadn't put us through this. But my fears of not being enough for him was too much for me to bear.

"Mal" I heard a voice say which broke what felt like a peaceful eternity.

"Yes?" I replied as I continued to sketch the dimples on Ben's face.

"Mal" the voice said and when I looked up I saw a topless Jacob walking towards me. I could tell that he had been jumping in and out of the water; as beads of water were running down his broad and muscular chest and onto the patio. "What are you doing?" he asked as he reached over for his towel and he started to dry himself. "You're not swimming" he noted.

"No" I agreed. "I don't feel very well" I stated.

"I see" he nodded. "Do you need to see a teacher?" he enquired sincerely.

"No" I repeated. "Just a headache and a little bit of nausea; nothing sketching won't help" I explained as he dropped his towel to the floor.

"Let me see" he said and he quickly took my sketching pad from me before I could stop her. "I see" he noted as he looked down at my sketch. "Even though you are nowhere near him he is still on your mind" he stated as he handed me my pad back.

"Always" I smiled fondly as I looked down at my sketch.

"You really miss him don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah" I advised; this wasn't a lie. I did miss Ben; I wanted to text him but I didn't know whether he wanted me to. I had hurt him so much by this separation; I didn't want to hurt him any further. "He's my best friend" I smiled as I looked up at him.

"Lucky guy" he said as he sat down on the sun lounger next to me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Staying with you" she advised.

"You don't need to" I stressed.

"Yes I do" he replied. "I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't" he advised as he slid both of his hands behind his head and settled himself on the sun lounger.

"Well I appreciate that; thank you" I smiled as I could tell by the looks of it I wasn't going to be able to get him to go and spend time with our classmates.

"Here" he stated as he sat up quickly.

"What?" I advised as he quickly pulled his phone out of his bag.

"Photo time!" he grinned and he quickly took a photo of myself.

"I bet I look horrible in that" I said as I pulled a disgruntled face at him.

"No" he said as he shook his head. "See" he added as he showed me the photo.

"What are you two doing over here?" Emma asked as Jacob slid closer to me and took another photo however this time I was able to smile.

"Taking photos" Jacob advised.

"Let me join!" Emma shouted and the next few minutes then fell into group photos where in which the last one was the full class. I will admit that I was starting to enjoy myself; but I knew that I was going to have a resolution to my situation - for both mine and Ben's sake.


	15. Chapter 15

_*Ben's POV*_

* * *

I was currently sitting in my dorm and I was looking through my Facebook; I then froze when my eyes then landed on a photo album of Mal's trip away.

I cautiously opened the folder and flicked through the folder and saw that Mal wasn't in a lot of photos but the ones that she was in I could tell that there was something on her mind. And if I wasn't aware of what was on her mind I would be concerned.

I took in a deep breath when I saw a series of photos of Mal and Jacob together; it seems as if she was spending all of her time away with him. And the more photos that were taken the closer they looked; when I looked onto the last photo of them sitting together by a pool I grimaced. I didn't like how he had her hand wrapped around her waist as he pulled her close to him.

This then made a sinister thought then come to me - was this the real reason why she had put me and her on a break? Had Mal fallen out of love with me and wanted to politely end things with me so she could get together with Jacob? I really hoped that this wasn't the case - but seeing these photos was making me believe that I had lost Mal once and for all.

* * *

 _*Mal's POV*_

* * *

After we had taken a large array of photos I excused myself; I needed to speak to someone who could help me with my situation. So after I closed my bedroom door behind me I quickly rang Evie; hoping that she would be able to help me through my confusion and concern.

"Mal" she said after she answered the phone after three rings.

"Hey E" I answered happily. "Is something wrong?" she quickly asked.

"No" I answered as I sat down on my bed. "I just needed to talk to someone else who knows about-" I started. "You know" I added knowing that I wouldn't need to tell her anything else in case anyone was eavesdropping on our conversation.

"I see" she noted. "Well how are you getting on with that?" she questioned.

"I honestly don't know E; I feel so out of sorts being here" I confessed. "I miss Ben" I admitted. "I want to ring and text him but I don't know if I can" I said sadly as I looked down to the floor.

"How?" I heard her say.

"Well would you want me to if I did this to you?" I returned to her.

"I honestly don't know" she admitted.

"Have you spoken to him?" I asked.

"A few times" she admitted. "He came to see you" she advised.

"When?" I said as I looked up and pulled a confused face.

"Just after you left; I think he wanted to say goodbye" she said sadly.

"Oh" I muttered. "Right" I nodded to myself.

"Yes" she said. "And we talked about-" she started. "You know" she pointed out.

"Right" I repeated as I looked down at the ground once more. "What did he say?" I dared to ask.

"He doesn't like being on a break; he thinks he is going to lose you" she explained.

"Well I don't want that" I advised; this was the truth I didn't want to lose Ben. And I hated myself for putting us both into this situation but I had to be certain that I could give Ben what he needed - and I didn't know if I could. "But E I really can't promise anything; I don't know how I am going to feel at the end of this trip" I stated. "I can't see how I can be the girl that he needs; I really don't" I pressed.

"But you are Mal; you just can't see it" she advised.

"Yeah" I muttered. "Have you seen him after that?" I asked hoping to move the conversation on as my mind was currently showing me Ben being disappointed at the fact that he couldn't see me before I left.

"Yes" she confirmed. "He won't really say much; but you can tell that it is getting to him" she stated.

"I hate myself for this I really do" I sighed.

"Mal" she sighed back. "I don't really know what to tell you-" she began. "You and Ben love each other; you are meant for each other. Cotillion showed that-" she continued and my mind started to relieve what happened at Cotillion. "You saved Ben with true loves kiss; I don't think you need any more proof than that" she added. "If you are struggling you need to speak to Ben; and he will make it easier for you" she finished.

"Yeah" I replied. "Do you think he will want me texting him?" I questioned hopefully.

"I think it would make his day Mal" she advised and a meek smile spread across my face. "If you decide after all this that you can't be with Ben; you can still be friends" she offered.

"Yes" I agreed. "I might text him later" I decided.

Ok" she said. "So what are you up to now?" she enquired.

"Well we are going to have a meal; then we are having a party tonight. Which to be honest I don't know if I am in the mood for" I described. "But there is only so many times where I can hide in my room and claim that I am ill" I added as I pursed my lips together.

"Yeah" she answered.

"You never know a good drink is what I might be need" I noted.

"Maybe" she agreed. "Just be careful" she interjected.

"Yes Mother" I teased and we both laughed. "I'm going to go E" I advised as I watched as my bedroom door opened and Emma walked in.

"Ok" she replied. "Bye" she added.

"Bye" I advised before I ended the call. I started to feel better about things after speaking to Evie - I just hoped that Ben wouldn't think that I was messing him around.


	16. Chapter 16

_*Mal's POV*_

* * *

All the way through getting ready for our party my mind kept reliving my conversation. I wanted to text Ben; I know that it was probably selfish of me but I was used to texting and ringing him every day. I was used to the closeness and now that we barely spoke I could see how much I hurt him.

When I got back into my room my eyes fell onto my phone charging and made a decision. Evie was right; Ben probably would want me to text him. Surely he was missing me just as much as I was missing him; he was giving me the space that I needed so I knew that I had to be the one to open up our conversation.

So with this in mind I quickly sent him a text; before I could change my mind:

* * *

 _"Hey Ben, I don't know if you even want me to text you. And I'm sorry if this upsets you or gives you mixed signals. It just feels strange not talking to you every day; and please don't feel like you have to. If you think I have pushed you too far then I totally get that; but I could ring or Face time you later if you want? Love you, Mal. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"._

* * *

After rereading the text after I sent I hoped that this would open up me and Ben talking. Evie was right; the only way that this could get better was if we talked about things. There was no point me just stewing on it; I probably wouldn't be able to decide what I needed to do until I spoke to Ben anyway. I was now mentally kicking myself as I shouldn't have put me and Ben in this situation - as it was becoming painfully clear that if I just spoke to Ben we wouldn't even be in this mess!

* * *

When I walked into our communal living room I noticed that everyone had started drinking and everyone was in high spirts. I quickly poured myself a drink and started to dance around with my friends; and before I knew it I started to feel tipsy. However no matter how much I had had to drink I still couldn't escape being worried at the fact that Ben hadn't text me back - maybe I had pushed him too far this time after all.


	17. Chapter 17

_*Meanwhile*_

 _*Ben's POV*_

* * *

I didn't know what to think about Mal's text; if I was being honest she had me very confused. She told me that she needed space so I gave her that; she then posed for photos when Jacob that looked far too close for my liking. And then to top it all off she then suggests that she could talk to me later if I wanted. I really didn't know where I stood with her; I loved her soo much and I hated the fact that we were going through this. I just wished I knew why Mal felt the way she did; then maybe I could understand her current strange behaviour.

"Ben" I heard Evie say and I looked up to see her walk towards me; I was currently making my way out of Auradon Prep so I could go back home. I just felt like I needed to be on my own; yes my parents would check up on me but at least I didn't have the feeling of everyone watching me at Auradon Castle.

"Hi Evie" I smiled meekly as she stood in front of me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she offered.

"Erm" I stated as I started to think about whether I wanted to talk about this right now. However when I looked into her warm chocolate brown eyes I decided that I need to talk to her - as she could help me try to understand. "Yes" I advised. "This way" I stated and we both walked off on our own to a nearby empty courtyard.

"What's wrong?" she asked me after we both sat down on a stone bench.

"Mal has text me" I admitted.

"Right" she nodded at this. "Isn't that a good thing?" she pressed.

"Yeah" I agreed. "But she has me really confused" I confessed as I threw a confused look at her.

"How?" she questioned.

"Well she wants to have space; then she texts me saying that she wants to face time me later. And that it is strange to not talk to me everyday" I explained.

"Isn't that what you want?" she pressed.

"Of course it is Evie-" I started. "But what is the deal with that photo of her and Jacob?" I said sadly as I looked down at the floor.

"Ben you know nothing is ever going to go on there" she dismissed.

"How can you know that? They looked close" I noted as my mind started to spitefully show me the photo of Mal and Jacob together.

"So what" she shrugged. "Mal loves you" she reminded me.

"Have you spoken to her?" I questioned and something changed in her eyes which told me that she had.

"Yes" she confirmed. "She still confused" she added.

"I wish I knew why!" I exclaimed.

"Well that is something you need to bring up with her" she answered as she pursed her lips together.

"Yeah" I muttered. "And I need to wait for that" I sighed as I looked down to the ground.

"No" I heard her say.

"What?" I asked as I looked up at her.

"Ben go to Mal" she advised.

"What?" I repeated.

"You obviously want to fight for Mal; so go to her" she suggested.

"Isn't that a bit much?" I questioned as I started to think how Mal would react to this. Yes she text me; but me going to see her might make things worse - if that was even possible!

"I don't think so" she dismissed. "If Mal has sent you that text that tells me she wants to talk to you; so go to her and talk" she pressed again.

"Yeah" I agreed. The only way me and Mal were going to get through this is if we talked; if she thought that it was too much me going to see her then I would leave. But I had to give us both a fighting chance - didn't I? "Do you know what she is doing tonight?" I questioned.

"They are having a party-" she started. "So if your quick you'll stop Mal getting too drunk" she teased.

"Ok" I nodded. "Thanks Evie" I grinned as I started to feel eager to see Mal.

"Any time" she smiled as I quickly stood up and ran away from Evie. Yes I didn't know how Mal was about to react to seeing me; but I had to try. Mal was my one true love; and I wasn't about to give her up without a fight.


	18. Chapter 18

_*Mal's POV*_

* * *

I had been right - a night getting drunk was what I needed. Even though I was getting drunk and mixing my drinks I still couldn't take my mind of Ben. But I had succumb to the fact that as Ben hadn't text me back that he must want space. And I was going to respect that and leave him be until I got back home.

"Someone looks like they are better" I heard a voice slur and when I looked up I saw a very drunk Jacob dance towards me.

"Yep" I slurred back as I drunkenly danced on the spot.

"Come here" he advised and he wrapped his right arm around my waist and he pulled me towards him.

"Remember to keep your hands to yourself" I stated as I stepped out of his arm.

"Of course" he said happily. "Ben would kill me" he chuckled.

"Yes" I laughed. "Yes he would" I added as I started to mental kick myself as I have obviously ruined things with Ben as he still hasn't text me back. I watched as Jacob slowly looked me up and down before he staggered towards me.

"Mal?" he winked at me.

"Aha?" I replied.

"Can I have a word?" he questioned. "In private" he added as he looked around at everyone around us.

"Of course" I advised and I started to follow him and I watched as he started to head towards the staircase leading to his bedroom. "Why are we going up here?" I questioned in confusion.

"More private" he winked at me.

"I see" I advised and I continued to follow him. I didn't know what he wanted to talk to me about; but I was willing to see what he needed to speak to me about. I just hoped that it wasn't about to cause a scene us both going off on our own.


	19. Chapter 19

_*Ben's POV*_

* * *

The drive to North Riding was a long one; all the way here I was hoping that Mal wouldn't be too annoyed with me. But Evie's reassurances kept echoing around my head so this was giving me the confidence to do this; so as I got to the lodge door I took a couple of deep breaths to stead myself before I knocked on the door.

"Hello Your Majesty?" Mrs Roche said after she answered the door. "How can I help?" she said as she stepped to one side and I stepped into the lodge.

"I came to see Mal" I advised as I took in all the drunk students dancing about in front of me. "Is that ok?" I questioned.

"That's fine your Majesty" she smiled. "Is she expecting you?" Mrs Roche questioned.

"No" I answered as I looked at her. "Surprise" I added.

"I see" she noted. "Well she is around somewhere" she continued as she looked around the room and I started to fill with panic as I couldn't see Mal.

"Thank you" I smiled meekly.

"Hey!" Mal's class shouted at me when they noticed where I was.

"Hey!" I said back as I waved at them. "Have you seen Mal?" I asked.

"Yes" they all slurred.

"Where's Mal?" I asked in a panic and a blond haired girl stepped forward.

"She went upstairs with Jacob not so long ago" she explained as she staggered on the spot.

"Oh" I advised as I looked upstairs. So I had been right; something was going on between Mal and Jacob after all.

"I'm so sorry" she said sadly as she continued to sway. I was in two minds on whether to leave; but then there was something telling me that I needed to go and see Mal now - no matter what I was about to find.

"What room is Jacob in?" I questioned.

"Maybe you should go dude" the blond haired girl stated nervously.

"What room?" I pressed.

"First room on the left" she sighed.

"Thank you" I advised and I quickly walked away from her and up the stairs.

As I stood outside of Jacob's bedroom I heard giggling and I felt like I wanted to be sick. I nearly stepped away and left; but I was suddenly hit by my Beast range and I opened the door and I gasped at what I saw.


	20. Chapter 20

"Oh I am so sorry!" I exclaimed as I took the scene in front of me. Jacob was currently in a very tight embrace with a girl that I believed to be called Emma. I watched as they both threw me a disgruntled look at the fact that I had just disturbed them but I started to calm down at the fact that I hadn't just caught Mal with Jacob. "I was told Mal was up here" I advised hoping that this would defend my actions.

"She was" Jacob sighed. "She left saying she needed to think-" he slurred as Emma slowly stroked his chest. "Apparently she needs to speak to you" he advised.

"Does she?" I asked and I felt hope start to fill my chest.

"Yes" he confirmed. "And you obviously want to speak to her; you wouldn't be here otherwise" he meekly smiled.

"No I wouldn't" I agreed nervously. "Do you know where she went?" I asked.

"Downstairs is all I know" he shrugged as Emma snuggled into his neck.

"Ok; thank you" I replied. "Sorry again" I offered.

"It's ok" Jacob slurred and I quickly closed the door. I took a sigh of relief at the fact that I hadn't just lost Mal to Jacob; but I needed to find Mal to see if she would talk to me.

After I went downstairs I looked in Mal's bedroom and I sighed when I couldn't see her. However as I was about to leave her bedroom my eyes caught the sight of her outside. She was currently sitting on one of the sun loungers around the pool and she was on the phone to someone. I then quickly walked through the lodge and walked towards her and I could tell that Mal was crying - it broke my heart to see her like this so I hoped that she would speak to me.

"Mal" I said and I watched as she looked up at me.

"Ben?" she asked in confusion as she hung up on whoever she had been speaking to. "What are you doing here?" she asked incredulously and I started to think that maybe coming to see Mal wasn't a good idea after all.

* * *

 _*Mal's POV*_

* * *

"To see you" Ben answered as I slid my phone into my jeans pocket.

"Why?" I slurred. Yes I wanted to speak to Ben; but this wasn't what I expected. I never in my wildest dreams thought that Ben would come and see me like this.

"I got the impression that you wanted to talk" he advised as he sat down next to me.

"I did" I advised and I watched as his face dropped. "I do" I slurred. "I just didn't expect you to come and see me" I admitted.

"Is it too much?" he questioned nervously.

"No" I advised as I shook my head. "No of course not" I added. "You are the only person that I want to see right now" I advised and I watched as a warm smile spread across his face.

"I'm going to be honest Mal-" he started as he looked down.

"Yes?" I prompted.

"I didn't expect you to text me" he admitted as he looked back at me.

"Well I nearly didn't" I confessed.

"I see" he nodded. "What made you?" he asked.

"The fact that I can't do this anymore" I stated as my eye sight continued to spin.

"What?" he asked in shock.

"This break" I said. "It's tearing me apart!" I exclaimed as I felt a lump start to form in my throat.

"Oh" he muttered and I watched as he took a couple of deep breaths.

"What's wrong Ben?" I enquired.

"What do you mean?" he replied.

"You looked really worried then" I noted.

"You really scared me then" he answered.

"How?" I pressed.

"Well I thought you couldn't do us anymore" he said sadly.

"No Ben" I dismissed. "I didn't mean that" I urged hoping that this would dispel this thought from his mind. "If I am being completely honest I nearly took it back the second after I suggested us going on a break" I admitted before I pursed my lips together.

"Why didn't you?" he stated bluntly.

"I didn't want to mess you around" I shrugged.

"I see" he noted. "Well it seems like you have had a lot in your mind" he noted.

"Yes" I confirmed.

"Mal-" he started.

"Yes?" I answered.

"Can we talk about it?" he questioned. "Please" he begged. "Then I can understand and then I can try and get you through this; if that is what you want me to do" he offered sincerely and we fell into silence for a few seconds before I nodded at him.

"I would like that" I smiled meekly at him. I didn't know how this conversation was about to go with Ben; but it needed to happen - whether I wanted it to or not.


	21. Chapter 21

"The thing is Ben-" I started as my stomach continued to bubble in panic and unease. "I know that I love you" I said and I watched as he smiled at me. "So much" I pressed as I slid closer to him. "Cotillion showed us both that" I continued. "But what seems to be bothering me is the fact that no matter how much I love you. No matter how much I try I struggle with your royal lifestyle. How can I be the girl you need?" I elaborated further. "I'm pathetic! Weak!" I exclaimed as I looked down at the floor in embarrassment.

"Hey!" he cooed and Ben quickly pulled me into a hug. "You are not" he stressed as his arms tightened around me. "Please don't think like that" he begged. "Mal you are everything that I want and need; everyone has their limits. If you are pushed to them you need to tell me so I can make it better for you" he stated as I snuggled my face into his neck. I thought you were coping Mal; after cotillion you promised that you would tell me if you were struggling" he added.

"I know" I stated. "But it is hard to admit" I sighed.

"I know baby" he answered. "But I can't help you otherwise" he continued.

"Yeah" I muttered. "I'm sorry baby" I apologised as I slowly looked up at him. "I'm so so sorry!" I said as tears started to form in my eyes.

"It's ok poppet" he cooed as he cupped the left hand side of my face with his right hand.

"Thank you for coming to see me" I smiled.

"Well it was Evie that suggested it actually" he advised.

"Really?" I muttered; I should have known that after speaking to Evie she would have tried to find a way to get me and Ben back together.

"Yeah" he smiled as he stroked my cheek with his thumb. "She seemed to think the fact that you text me was telling her that you wanted to talk to me. She seemed to think me coming to see you would probably help us both" he explained.

"Well she wasn't wrong was she?" I teased as I reached up and wiped my eyes free from tears.

"No she wasn't" he smiled warmly. "I will admit I was scared the whole time coming here" he admitted as he pursed his lips together.

"Why?" I muttered as I started to gaze into his eyes.

"Well you might not have wanted to see me" he advised sadly.

"Ben I would never send you away; even if I wanted more space. There would have been a reason why you came to see me like this. And if I am honest-" I started. "If I didn't want to see you and you came anyway it probably would have prompted us to talk and sort things out. So don't stress over it" I added and I watched as he smiled warmly at me.

"Thanks" he said. "I hate to ask-" he began. "I know I should probably wait until you are sober" he added.

"Yes?" I prompted.

"But where does this leave us?" he dared ask.

"Let's me show you" I teased.

"What?" he asked in confusion. I smiled warmly up at him before I crushed my lips against his and we shared a long and loving kiss. I couldn't help but sigh against his lips; I should never have done this to Ben. And I know I have said this before - but I would never do this to him again. "I see" he panted after we pulled apart.

"Benny" I teased once more.

"Yes?" he teased back.

"Will you please be my boyfriend again?" I questioned.

"Yes!" he exclaimed and he crushed his lips against mine once more and we fell into a series of long and loving kisses which ended in us being cuddled tightly together on the sun lounger. "I should probably go" he sighed.

"Do you have to?" I whined.

"Yes" he confirmed. "I think I have gate crashed your trip enough" he advised. Now that me and Ben had managed to fix things I didn't want him to go; I wanted him to stay. But I knew that he couldn't stay here on my trip with me; but I knew another solution.

"Take me with you" I muttered.

"What?" he questioned in shock.

"I want to go home; I've had enough of this trip" I admitted.

"But what about your class work?" he asked.

"I was given the brief when we got here; I can finish it at home" I dismissed. "If I am being honest I want to spend my time with you; that is more important to me" I added and I watched as he smiled fondly at me.

"Ok" he advised. "As long as you are sure?" he offered.

"Always Benny" I returned.

"As you wish my love" he answered and we cuddled together once more and began to enjoy each other's company - both of us obviously happy that we had been able to fix things.


	22. Chapter 22

After spending some time together we then returned back into the lodge; as I started to slowly pack my things together Ben went to speak to my teachers to tell me that I was needed back at home. Thankfully they didn't put up a fight - but saying that who could argue with Ben.

Ben then helped my pack my things together and me, Ben and his driver put everything into his limo. I couldn't help at the fact that Ben kept trying to get me to drink water; I loved how considerate my boyfriend was - and I was going to make sure that I did everything that I could to make sure that this didn't happen again.

* * *

"And then there was two" he teased as the limo pulled away.

"Yes" I answered as I snuggled into his chest.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he tightened his arms around me.

"Still drunk" I admitted which made him chuckle. "But a lot of better that we have sorted things; even though I have treated you badly" I said sadly. "Why do you want to be with me Benny?" I pouted.

"Because I love you so much Mally" he advised as he reached up and cupped the right hand side of my face with his left hand. "You are my one true love; don't question that" he pressed.

"I won't" I promised. "I'll try and be better" I said as I brushed my nose against his.

"It's not a case of being better; it's learning your limits. And if you are struggling you need to tell me" he urged.

"I'll try Ben" I said meekly as I snuggled further into his chest.

"That is all I can ask baby" he smiled. "But I will be checking up on you more" he warned me.

"I know" I said as I remembered how Ben used to check on my after Cotillion. "Thank you" I sighed sleepily.

"You're welcome" he replied before he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "I have made a change to our plans" he advised.

"Oh" I said as I sleepily opened my eyes. "What?" I questioned.

"Instead of going home I thought it would be better if we stayed in my residence in North Riding-" he started. "Then we can have the day and night to ourselves and then go back after breakfast the day after" he smiled.

"Really?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes" he confirmed. "Is that ok?" he questioned.

"That's perfect Benny" I yawned. "Just what we both need" I noted.

"Yes" he advised as we both snuggled tightly together once more. I knew that there was a good chance that I was going to fall asleep in his arms; but by the looks of it neither of us were going to mind.

* * *

"Mal" I heard Ben say.

"Yes?" I muttered as I started to feel sleep evade me.

"Come on wake up" he chucked as he gave my right shoulder a light shake.

"Why?" I groaned.

"We are here" he advised.

"Oh" I said and my sleepily rolled open as I sat up and stretched. "Sorry for falling asleep" I yawned.

"It's ok" he smiled as I looked over to him. "I loved the cuddle" he flirted as the car door opened behind him.

"I see" I smiled and we both slowly climbed out of the limousine. When the cold air hit me everything started to spin and I staggered back against the car. "Oh" I muttered.

"What?" I heard Ben asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I feel really dizzy; and sickly" I advised as my stomach started to bubble.

"Well you did mix your drinks" he advised.

"Yeah" I muttered and Ben slowly guided me into the wooden lodge. "Benny" I slurred.

"Yes" I heard him say.

"I know we haven't done this before-" I started.

"Right?" he prompted and I looked up at him.

"But can we stay together tonight?" I begged.

"Erm" he muttered as he closed to door behind us. "If you want to" he smiled.

"You don't have to; we are not going to do anything apart from cuddling" I said as the room and Ben continued to spin.

"Yeah I would like that" he advised as he locked the door. "Let's get upstairs" he advised and I started to feel my stomach burn that was telling me that I was about to be sick.

"Ben stop!" I advised as I stood still.

"What?" he asked as I tried to take a couple of deep breaths to steady myself.

"I need to be sick" I muttered.

"What now?" he questioned.

"Y-" I started by my stomach contracted violently and a mixture of alcohol, water and food covered in a creamy slime propelled onto the floor and onto me and Ben. "Don't look at me" I begged and he quickly offered me a tissue out of blazer his pocket. "Thank you" I muttered as I took it from him. "I'm really sorry" I mumbled as I wiped my mouth.

"Don't be" he dismissed. "This is what I am for" he added.

"I don't deserve you" I muttered again.

"You do" he urged. "Let's get to bed" he stated and I looked up at him.

"Your spinning" I advised and I started to feel weak. "I think I am going to faint" I advised.

"What now?" he asked and I opened my mouth to say something but was stopped as I suddenly went weak and was dragged into darkness.


	23. Chapter 23

_*Ben's POV*_

* * *

Thankfully I was able to catch Mal before she hit the ground; I quickly threw her into a bridal hold and I started to make my way up the stairs. I couldn't help but smile at her peaceful face as her head rolled against my shoulder; and I watched as she started to stir as we walked into my bedroom.

"Mal can you stand up?" I asked as I watched her eyes start to roll open.

"Erm" she muttered. "I think so" she advised.

"Ok" I replied as I helped her to her feel and she nearly stumbled forward.

"Whoa!" she exclaimed but I quickly grabbed her so she wouldn't fall. "Thank you" she breathed.

"Yes" I nodded. "Sit down here" I advised and I helped her sit on the edge of the foot of my bed. "Thankfully you weren't sick on me our yourself too much" I chuckled.

"Yeah" she slurred.

"Right I'm going to get changed" I advised.

"Ok" she nodded.

"Here" I said as I offered her one of my t-shirts. "Put this on" I explained.

"Ok Chief" she replied as she took it from me as I chuckled at her.

"See you in a few my very drunk dragon" I teased before I pressed a kiss against the top of her head.

"Yeah" she grumbled and I walked into my on-suite bathroom so Mal could have some privacy. Yes we had never shared a bed before but I was looking forward to snuggling into Mal; my very drunk and sleepy dragon.

* * *

After I got changed into my sleep shorts I then waited a long amount of time to give Mal the time that she needed; however when I couldn't hear any movement in my bedroom I started to get worried.

"Mal are sorted?" I called and concern struck me when she didn't answer. **"MAL!"** I shouted and I hoped for an answer but took a deep breath in in panic when again she didn't answer. **"MAL!"** I shouted as I opened the door and my eyes widened at what I saw. Mal was lying asleep flopped down on my bed wearing nothing but her dark purple lace bra and panties. As I stepped closer I noticed that there was scared all over her lower chest, stomach and legs. It broke my heart to see them but I knew better to question about it now - if and when we had this conversation I knew that she was going to be very embarrassed.

"Mal honey" I said sadly and she grunted at me. "Mal wake up" I said as I reached forward and lightly shook her right shoulder.

"Do I have to?" she groaned.

"Yes" I confirmed. "You haven't got changed" I advised.

"Oh" she muttered and I watched as she slowly opened her eyes. "I am sorry about my recent behaviour" she said as she slowly sat up. "I haven't drunk like this in such a long time" she advised.

"It's ok" I said as I picked up my t-shirt. "Main thing we are together" I smiled.

"Yes" she smiled back. "I love you you handsome Beast" she grinned which made me grin back at her.

"I love you too you beautiful Dragon" I said happily. "Let's get you into this t-shirt" I stated.

"Ok" she nodded and I slowly helped her into my t-shirt. I still couldn't get over how drunk Mal was; and yes there part of me that was amused by her behaviour. But I couldn't not be concerned at the fact at what could have happened if we were together and Mal got this drunk on her trip. I trusted Mal - it was other men that I was worried about.

"Do you need the toilet?" I questioned.

"Nah" she laughed.

"Ok" I nodded. "Come on baby" I advised and we both climbed into bed and pulled the covers over us. "Let's cuddle" I grinned as I opened my arms to her.

"Hang on" she stated as she sat up.

"What?" I questioned and I watched as Mal slid her hands underneath my t-shirt behind her back and I watched as she removed her bra. My eyes then widened in shock as she threw it to the floor before grinning at me.

"Ready" she grinned as she cuddled into me. I was shocked at the fact that Mal was now currently topless underneath his t-shirt. However I quickly dismissed this as I pulled her to me and it wasn't long before she was cuddled into me fast asleep. As I watched my perfect dragon sleep I promised myself that I was going to make sure that I checked more on he so this never happens again.


	24. Chapter 24

_*Mal's POV*_

* * *

I slowly stretched in bed however I was suddenly met with confusion at the fact that someone was in bed with me. My eyes quickly snapped open and I felt panic sweep from me when I saw Ben smiling at me. I then started to fill with confusion; yes I was glad that I 04hadn't woken up in bed with anyone else but this started to make me question why I was in bed with Ben.

"Good morning" he grinned and I slowly looked underneath the bed covers to see that I was wearing nothing more than my pants and a baggy dark blue t-shirt.

"We didn't-" I started to shock as I looked up at him.

"No" he answered which made me sigh. "We didn't" he confirmed.

"Good" I stated as I sat up and I looked around; I was obviously in one of Ben's estates. But what scared me was how on Auradon did I get here? "How did I get here?" I asked as I looked over to him and I watched as his face dropped.

"You don't remember?" he questioned.

"Erm" I said as I started to think about what happened last night. "I remember bits and pieces" I admitted.

"What do you remember?" he asked.

"Well-" I started. "I remember getting drunk" I recalled. "Talking to Jacob-" I started. "Slapping Jacob" I sighed as I threw myself back against my pillows when I remembered what happened last night.

"Slapping Jacob?" I heard Ben question.

"Yes" I advised as I looked up at him.

"Then nothing else" I stated.

"I see" he nodded as he started to look nervous.

"Ben what happened?" I questioned as I started to hope that nothing really bad had happened last night. "I came to see you; because I thought you wanted to talk to me. We talked and got back together. You wanted to come back home with me and I suggested that we come here-" he started to explain. "And given your confusion right now I'm concerned" he admitted.

"About what?" I asked.

"Do you want to be with me?" he said as he looked away from me.

"Ben of course I do" I urged as I reached over and cupped the left hand side of his face with my right hand so he would look at me. "I just wished I could remember what I said to you" I said. "Oh" I muttered as I started to remember what had happened when me and Ben arrived here. "I am so sorry" I said as I stroked his cheek with my thumb.

"What? What for?" he asked slowly.

"For being sick and passing out on you" I said sadly as I pulled my hand away from his face and I looked away from him.

"It's fine" he dismissed. "That's what boyfriends are for aren't they?" he asked hopefully and I could tell that he was hoping that I wasn't about to change my mind.

"Yes" I smiled. "That is what boyfriends are for" I repeated. "Ben I know you are scared that I am about to go back on what I said last night; but I'm not going to. I love you so much" I said lovingly as he rolled onto his stomach next to me. "I just wish that I could explain how I was feeling" I advised. "How I am feeling now" I stated.

"You don't need to" he advised.

"Did I tell you everything last night?" I questioned as I pulled one brow up in confusion.

"Most of it" he advised. "But you drunk dialled me last night and left a voice mail" he advised.

"Did I?" I questioned slowly as I started to mentally kick myself.

"Yes" he stated as he reached over for his phone and I watched as he fiddled with his phone for a few seconds before I heard my voice.

 _"Ben…"_


	25. Chapter 25

_"Ben..._

 _I know that you are probably trying to figure out what on Auradon I am playing at? I don't even know myself - if I'm being honest._

 _All I do know is that I love you Ben; I will never stop loving you. I just- feel so weak, pathetic and not worth your time. I want to be the woman that you deserve by your side, I really do. But the life you lead is so strange to me; it confuses me and at times I feel suffocated by it._

 _I want to be right for you but right now I don't feel like I am. I know that we have been through this before; but-_

 _ _There is something that I haven't told you...__

 _Growing me my mother has told me that I am never going to be good enough; I had to prove it to her. And she beat this way of thinking into me; so I-_

 _I still suffer the backlash from it. I thought that I had got on top of it-_

 _But my flashbacks and panic attacks keep coming back and-_

 _I know you would want to know but it is hard for me talk about these things; because I have been brought up with not talking about my feelings. Yes I am getting better at talking about them but I still struggle._

 _I don't want this to force you into speaking to me; because this isn't why I am leaving you this voicemail. I'm leaving you it so you can understand. Ben I am broken; I feel like I don't-_

 _I mean-_

 _"I feel like I don't deserve you; the things that I have done in the past makes me a horrible horrible person. And because of this I don't think I _ _ _ _ _deserve another chance.______

 _ _ _ _ _I wouldn't _blame you if you didn't want anything to do with me; I keep messing you around like this. I want to see a way forward Ben; but I don't feel right for you-______

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Mal"________

 _"Ben?"_

 _"What are you doing here?"_


	26. Chapter 26

"Oh my Lucifer!" I said in embarrassment as I put my head in my hands as Ben put his phone back onto his bedside cabinet. "I am so embarrassed" I stated as I rolled onto my side with my back to Ben. I knew that Ben was going to want to speak about what I had said in that voicemail. But it was so hard to talk about things like that; and it just made me feel weak at the fact that Ben now knew.

"Hey!" I heard him coo as Ben slid closer to me and he spooned me. "Don't feel embarrassed" he dismissed. "At least I now know" he said as he tightened his arms and legs around me.

"Yes" I advised as I slid my arms onto Ben's and pulled them closer to me.

"You like this?" he asked.

"Yes" I confirmed as I turned my head to look at him and I smiled. "You did catch me off guard though" I admitted.

"Sorry" he quickly apologised before he pressed a kiss against my head.

"No reason to be" I dismissed.

"Mal you are everything that I need" he stressed fondly. "I will never ever get sick of telling you this; please don't question it" he advised.

"I'll try" I promised. "I just want to be better" I sighed.

"Well like I said last night Mal; it's not about being better. You are you; that is enough" he said and I watched as he smiled fondly at me. "You are my perfect Dragon Princess" he smiled as he snuggled into my hair. "And before you say you are far from perfect you are" he quickly added before I could correct him.

"Ok Your Majesty" I said as I snuggled into him.

"You need to tell me so I can help you" he urged.

"Ok" I nodded meekly. I wanted to let Ben in; it just felt so strange to rely on someone else when I had been told that this wasn't the right thing to do.

"I know it is still hard to let me in at times but you need to try" he continued.

"Yes" I agreed. "Same to you as well" I stated.

"Yes" he promised and we both smiled at each other. I watched as Ben brought his lips close to mine; but the memory of being sick suddenly came to the fore front of my mind.

"Ben stop!" I exclaimed.

"What?" he asked as his face dropped.

"Give me two seconds" I advised as I climbed out of his arms and legs and I quickly jumped from the bed.

"Where are you going?" I heard him ask.

"Bathroom" I answered as I threw him a playful look.

"O…..k" he said slowly as I stepped into the bathroom.

* * *

I quickly brushed my teeth and used mouthwash; I was even surprised that Ben hadn't come to see me. But then I realised that this was Ben that we were talking about and he was giving me space to do what I needed.

"Hey!" I sang as I stepped back into his bedroom.

"You know how to keep a man waiting" he teased as I slowly walked towards the bed.

"Well I was sick last night" I reminded him. "So I didn't think you wanted to make out like that" I teased as I climbed onto the foot of the bed.

"I see" he nodded.

"Ready or not-" I teased. "Here I come!" I sang once more and I quickly jumped towards Ben and I straddled him.

"Oh hello" he sang suggestively as he slid his hands onto my hips.

"Yes?" I teased as I placed both of my hands at either side of his head. "You like?" I purred.

"Yes" he breathed and I grinned at him. I then crushed my lips against Ben's and we fell into a heated make out session. I loved being in Ben's arms; and as I let Ben deepen the kiss I reminded myself that Ben was always going to be worth the panic attacks and flashbacks - and he would get me through it.


	27. Chapter 27

After a very heated make out session me and Ben then cuddled together; we fell into a perfect silence of enjoying each other's company. I couldn't believe how things had changed with me and Ben; but I was glad that I had put us on a break as I now felt closer to him.

"Mal" I heard Ben say.

"Aha?" I answered as I looked up at him.

"Why did you slap Jacob?" he asked.

"Oh" I muttered as my eyes widened at this question. "Erm" I gulped. "Well you see-" I started as I started to panic as I looked down at the bed covers. I didn't know how Ben was about to react to what I was about to say; I just hoped that he wouldn't be too annoyed at me. "He tried to kiss me" I admitted.

"He what?" he exclaimed.

"Yeah" I answered as I looked up at him. "He asked to speak to me on my own; we went to his room-" I started to explain. "He tried to put his hands on my bum and then he tried to kiss me" I sighed as my mind started to spitefully show me this.

"And then he quickly moves onto someone else!" he explained again.

"What?" I questioned in confusion.

"When I arrived I was told that you were with Jacob upstairs; and when I walked into his room he was making out with Emma" he advised.

"Wow!" I muttered. "She'll be happy" I noted.

"How?" he asked.

"She's been after him for a while" I explained.

"I see" he muttered. "Did anyone on your trip know we were on a break?" he enquired.

"No" I answered.

"Right" Ben grimaced.

"What?" I repeated.

"Jacob thought you were in a relationship and still tried to take you away from me" he sighed.

"But he didn't" I dismissed. "As soon as he tried I slapped him and got out of there" I stated. "Benny you know I only want you" I urged. "You and only you" I said happily as I brushed my nose against his.

"Yes" he confirmed with a warm smile. "And I only want you" he promised.

"Hmm" I purred before I pressed a brief kiss against his lips. "Let's try something" I suggested after we pulled away.

"What?" he asked as I re-adjusted myself in bed.

"This" I answered I took both of his hands and I placed them against my buttocks.

"Hmmm" he purred.

"What do you think?" I flirted.

"Very nice" he noted as he squeezed my buttocks. "Perfect fit" he winked at me.

"Yes" I winked back which made him chuckle.

"Is this what Jacob did?" he asked.

"No" I replied as I shook my head. "He slid his hands onto the top of my bum but nothing like this" I added.

"Do you like this?" he questioned and this made me smile at Ben. All the way through our relationship Ben never put his hands on me without my permission; and it made me love him even more. It showed that he really loved and respected me; and I felt the exact same way about him.

"Very much" I smiled. "So keep doing it!" I exclaimed as Ben brushed his nose against mine.

"Oh come here you" he teased and he quickly span us around so he was now on top of me. I couldn't help but giggle at my playful beast; and as he crushed his lips against mine once more I sighed. Ben was the love of my life and this was never going to change - ever!


	28. Chapter 28

After making out and cuddling together me and Ben noticed that it was nearly dinner time; I got a lot of teasing from Ben but I quickly shrugged it off. Normally when I had a lot to drink I tended to not get out of bed until nearly dinner time; if not longer. But the fact that I was with Ben was making today even better – even though my art retreat was cut short.

* * *

Me and Ben then made ourselves some sandwiches and juice and as we sat and ate them we watched a film. I loved it when me and Ben had lazy days like this; it meant that we could be Ben and Mal and we didn't have the world watching us. Yes my mind went onto how I was going to cope with Ben's lifestyle but I then dismissed this. Ben said he would help me through this and I would let him - as losing him wasn't going to be an option.

* * *

I went to go and get my phone as no doubt Evie would have text me to see how things were going with Ben; and I smiled when I saw her text. As I made my way back to Ben I responded to her and she promptly responded back saying that she was happy for me and Ben, which I couldn't help smile at. I was over the moon that me and Ben had been able to fix things - I just wished that I didn't keep putting me and Ben through this.

* * *

When I walked into the living area of the wooden lodge I noted that Ben was standing looking out of the window with a concerned look on his face.

"Ben" I said as I slid my phone onto the nearby wooden cabinet as I walked towards him.

"Yes?" he answered not looking at me.

"Ben look at me" I advised as I stood in front of him.

"Yes?" he replied as he slowly looked down at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked in concern.

"What do you mean?" he questioned.

"You looked like something was bothering you" I noted.

"Oh" he muttered. Never mind that" he dismissed.

"Benny" I whined. "Come on" I pressed. "I can't help you if you don't tell me" I stated.

"I don't want to upset or embarrass you" he admitted.

"Well I definitely want to know now" I urged. I didn't think I liked the way that this conversation was going. How can me and Ben just go from all happy to like this - had something happened when I went upstairs? "Ben you're scaring me" I said sadly.

"Mal I-" he started.

"You?" I prompted.

"Last night I saw that you have scars" he admitted and I froze in shock. This was something else that I hadn't really brought up with Ben; it wasn't that I didn't trust him. I just knew that it was going to be a very hard conversation for the pair of us and I didn't know whether I was ready to completely go into it now.

"Oh" I muttered as I looked down. "I see" I noted.

"Yes" I heard him say. "You never mentioned them" she stated and when I looked up at him I could see that he was hurt by this.

"If I am being completely honest I don't really like to think about them" I advised.

"Sorry" he quickly apologised and I could see that he was now mentally kicking himself for bringing this up.

"No" I quickly dismissed. "I don't mind you asking about them" I stated. "If I am honest-" I started. "This actually brings this conversation up earlier than it needs to; which I am happy about" I said hoping that this would reassure him. "I was so scared to bring it up" I admitted.

"Why?" he questioned.

"Well as you saw last night; they don't look very nice" I reminded him. "And-" I began. "I have been scared for you to see them; in case it is a turn off" I confessed meekly.

"Mal" he sighed as he wrapped his arms around my waist and he pulled me close to him "Yes I don't like the fact that you have them because it means that you had to endure pain" he added which made me purse my lips together. "But that doesn't mean I am going to love you any less" he advised lovingly as he stared into my eyes.

"Oh Ben" I said as I lump started to build in my throat. I then quickly pressed my lips against his and we shared a long and loving kiss. When we broke apart from rested our foreheads together and smiled at each other.

"Would it be ok if I had another look?" he asked.

"Erm" I muttered; I should have known that Ben would want to have another look. In all honesty I was ok with this; I just hoped that it was going to upset him too much. "Yeah" I replied. "I trust you" I smiled.

"Good" he smiled and I took a couple of deep breaths to steady myself at the fact that Ben was about to look at my scars. Yes I know that he had already seen them; but this was the first time that I was going to see the hurt in his eyes.


	29. Epilogue

_*Epilogue*_

* * *

I watched as Ben slowly dropped his arms from me and he dropped to his knees. My mouth went dry and I took in a couple of deep breath to steady my nerves and Ben must have picked up on this as he looked up at me.

"Are you sure?" he offered.

"Positive" I advised as I slid my hands onto his shoulders. I watched as he nodded at me before he reached forward and slowly pulled up shirt slightly.

"There's loads" I heard him say.

"Yes" I confirmed as I started to push away the memories on how I got some of them. "There are mainly on my stomach; back and top of my legs; thankfully I can hide any others with magic" I explained.

"There's more?" he asked as he looked at me.

"Yes" I repeated. "I know you want to know-" I started. "Most of my scars are from my mother" I confessed as I felt my chest start to tighten but I concentrated on Ben and I pushed this away.

"What?" he questioned in horror.

"Yes" I said for the third time. "Punishments and character building" I muttered as I tightened my hands on his shoulders. "The rest are injuries from fighting or accidents trying to escape from schemes" I advised.

"I see" he noted and I felt his left hand start to stroke the scars on my stomach. "I hate how you have lived" he muttered.

"So I do I" I agreed.

"But you made my life better Ben; that is what we both need to concentrate on" I smiled warmly at him and I watched as he smiled back at me.

"Yes" he stated and I watched as he looked back down at my stomach before he pressed a tender kiss against one of my scars.

"Oooh" I muttered as shivers ran up and down my spine.

"What?" he asked in shock as he looked up at me.

"I got chills then" I admitted with a smile.

"Really?" he grinned.

"Yeah" I replied. "That is what you do to me" I admitted. I then watched as he grinned at me as he climbed back to his feet; I opened my mouth to say something but stopped as he quickly picked me up in a bridal hold. **"BEN!"** I screamed as he pulled me close to him.

"Oh shush!" he teased as he carried me out of the room and towards the staircase. I couldn't help but giggle at my playful Beast as I snuggled into him; I loved him so much and yes this wasn't the first time that I had done this to him. But I was adamant that this wasn't going to happen again; this time proved to me even more that me and Ben was meant to be and this is how it was going to stay.

* * *

 **Hey guys, thank you for coming on this journey with me. I am over the moon that we finally get to see where this story took our favourite pairing. I hope it has been worth the wait.**

 **Much love, RaInBoWsKulLdRoPs**

 **xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.**


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